Proper Newborn Adoption Baby Shower Etiquette
Are you looking for newborn adoption baby shower etiquette? Are you starting the adoption process and wondering when or even if you should have a baby shower? Growing your family through adoption is no easy task. Here you will learn more about what you need to consider when planning a baby shower for you as a parent who adopts. Such as timing, gifts, and genuine sensitivity.
There is such joy in celebrating a new life and the start of a new family unit. But there are also lots of things to consider and think about when planning a shower for adoptive parents.
All these tips are coming from an adoptive mother herself. Who had amazing family and friends that did a good job at following these tips and making us feel special.
Timing of Baby Shower
The timing of your baby shower (if you choose to have one) is the main form of etiquette there is.
I almost feel the word “etiquette” for the timing of the shower might be a bit of the wrong word. But there are ways that can help guard your heart. Also be respectful to your potential birth mother if you are already matched.
Option A: Before Matching
The first option of when to have the baby shower is before you match.
A pro of having it before is the potential you can be completely ready for any potential match. This is for people who like to be completely prepared.
A cons of having the shower beforehand is you will need to have a space for the different things you get. But are not quite ready to be used.
Another con is having all the different baby things around the house will be a constant reminder of not being matched yet; which is hard on the heart.
Potential adoption parents need to decide if they need to help guard their hearts.
Option B: After Bringing Baby Home
(This is the option my husband and I chose when deciding what was best for us and is what I recommend to others who ask me.)
Option B is having a shower after bringing the baby home.
Typically the shower will happen about a month after bringing the baby home. Lots of people (and we did as well) call it a Sip and See.
A pro of having the shower after bringing your baby home is that you do not have extra baby things around your home. This will help you during the waiting process. This will help your heart, by not having constant reminders in your face every day.
Another pro of waiting till after the baby is home is being able to make a registry of things you know you actually need. This is because you already have the baby. And you’re able to put specific gender things on the registry as well.
A con of having the shower after bringing the baby home is you will need to buy the few must-have items yourself to get by until you can have the shower.
Gifting for Adoptive Parents Baby Shower
Making a Baby Registry
Making a baby registry if you are adopting is similar to growing your family in a conventional way, but it is slightly different especially if you are waiting until after bringing the baby home to have the shower.
For example, you will probably not going to want to register for any newborn-size clothes or diapers, but for larger sizes instead. (Our child was growing out of his 0-3 month clothes by the time we had our shower a month after coming home.)
Another example is you will need what bottles and pacifiers your child prefers by then! So you put on your registry exactly what you know your baby likes.
I have a list of must-have items you will want to put on your registry and even a list of the few things you will want to buy yourself before the baby is born to get you by until you have your shower if you are waiting for the shower.
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Books and Keepsakes
Some good gift ideas to give or put on your registry (depending on who is reading this) are some good children’s books on adoptive families. Here is a blog post of my favorite children’s books for adoptive families, to give you some ideas.
Another gift idea is keepsake presents tailermade for adoptive families. For example, a memory box to put all the important memory items for the child or a baby book specifically made with adoptive families in mind. This is the one I have and enjoy.
Use Sensitivity
In Language
Make you use proper adoptive language for all things you write and say for and during the baby shower. (And at all times).
For example “birth of parents” instead of “real parents”.
Here is an article for you to read if need more examples.
In Support
Hopefully, your friends and family realize that adoption is an emotional process and help support before, during, and after the shower.
Your family and friends will hopefully be your backbone during your whole adoption adventure.
Baby Shower for Adoptive Parents or Potential Adoptive Parents
Celebrating a new life being born is so very important! I hope you realize that starting you starting a new family unit no matter how you choose is worth celebrating and being loved on by others!
If you are just starting the adoption process I have another blog post for you to read on how to start the adoption process here. And how to feel ready for the home study blog post found here.
